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I have often been asked how religion has helped me through my difficulties. Religion, I believe, does little to help people, but I know that a "relationship" with God can heal hearts, homes, and change lives! I think there is a big difference between religion and truly knowing God and having a relationship with Him. I had been indoctrinated into a legalistic church at one time--a real mess for someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder, specifically scrupulosity (religious obsessions and compulsions), which I have battled as well, but what I learned through it is how much the ritualistic side of religion correlates with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Religion is a keeping of traditions, regulations, and rules, often keeping rules and regulations for the sake of keeping them and forgetting that there is a reason and a purpose behind them all, and often without applying love, mercy, and compassion. We do this in an effort to feel more spiritual or closer to God, so that we have that magic check list in order, making us feel as if everything is all right.
It is amazing to me how performing the rituals of OCD (do's and don'ts, keeping list, following rules) can be so much like performing religious rituals and being compelled to follow them out of fear rather than love. We can fool ourselves into thinking that we are doing it out of love; I know I did, but we are doing things out of duty or compulsion--empty rituals, and the whole purpose is lost. I thought by doing these rituals that I had control, a well-ordered life, when actually so much was out of control. Yes, from the outside things looked clean and perfect, but no one knew the mess that was on the inside--the turmoil, the torture, the emptiness. We get lost in the details and the very thing that we are trying to achieve gets lost in it all. I was no longer cleaning because the house needed to be cleaned. I was no longer making a relaxing, enjoyable place for my family to come home to. I missed it! In much the same way, people miss God.
Religion, to me, is cleaning up the outside while the inside is still dirty--like washing the outside of a cup. The change needs to come from the inside out and our motivation must be out of love. We are not acceptable to God because we clean up the outside--the magic check list is in order; it's what we allow Christ to do inside of us, in our hearts, that makes us acceptable to Him. Sin begins in our hearts, out of our attitudes and intentions. It is not the outward appearance God is concerned with or the things we sometimes do to "feel more spiritual." People often prefer religion because it covers up the fact that they don't know God. It is easier to get involved in religion than to fully surrender our lives to God. All of us would like a God that we could control--we do this, and God does that. It is hard to release total control to God. We want Him to act in our time frame.
I gave my heart to Lord as a teenager but never really lived Him until later in life. I have made many mistakes a long the way, and still do, but I know that God has a plan and a purpose for me. He has helped me through my darkest and most difficult time and, ultimately, he has been my greatest source of power in my battle against anxiety and depression, and every other struggle, battle, and trial that I have had to endure. Does this mean I no longer struggle or have hardships? Heck no! The anxiety and depression always try to creep in, especially in times of stress. I don't think there is a magic moment when we no longer have to deal with the struggles. We all have days of discouragement, days of feeling defeated, and days when we need to be encouraged. All of us struggle with sin on a daily basis, and we are going to do wrong things, say wrong things, and think wrong thoughts, and we are certainly not ever going to be perfect in this world; we can only strive to be more like Christ. Through my trials, I have come to know God in a way that I had not known Him before, and for that I am thankful. God is more real to me than ever!
There are going to be difficult times in all of our lives, but that does not mean that God loves us any less, and we should not use our trials and struggles as a way of measuring God's love for us. The bible tells us that time and chance happens to us all. "...the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth unto them all." Ecclesiastes 9:11-15 "...there is a just man that perisheth in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man that prolongeth his life in wickedness." Ecclesiastes 7:14-15
Because we live in a fallen world, terrible things are going to impact our lives at one time or another, whether it be sickness, disease, violence, crime, etc., and terrible things happen in our lives as a result of our own doing, but none of these things come from God. "Every good gift and every perfect gift cometh from above, it cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness neither shadow of turning." --James 1:17 God, however, may allow these things to fulfill His plans and His purposes in our lives.
God has a perfect will and God has a permissive will, and we are responsible for our own actions and the choices the we make. God has promised those that belong to Him that, no matter what choices we do make, He will use them for good in our lives and work them out to the counsel of His will. Bad things do happen to good people, just the same way as good things happen to bad people. Sometimes the things are through our own doing, but sometimes it is by "time and chance" and just a result of the world that we live in. We need to allow the difficulties to cause us to depend upon Christ for strength, and through them we learn more about who Christ really is; the evidence of His character becomes more real with every trial. He is always faithful, loving, merciful, and gracious, and the list goes on. The difficulties cause us to grow to become more like Christ, if we allow them to do that, and they become blessings in disguise! It is during these times that we have to remind ourselves of who God is and rest in Him, because ultimately He is in control! In whatever circumstances we may face, whether it be grief, fear, distress, when illness is there, when illness is not there, when difficulty is there, when difficulty is not there, we have to continually trust God for the outcome and remember that God does not leave us alone.
My help and comfort comes from knowing that God's mercies are new every morning (in spite of how many times I mess up), from knowing that God genuinely loves and cares for me and has my best interests at heart, from learning how to love and forgive as Christ has loved and forgiven me--and would have me to the same, from daily learning to weather struggles and trials through His power and not my own, and from knowing that He does have a plan and purpose for my life. God has a purpose for all of our lives. No matter what your life experience has been, God wants and will use you. Sometimes we do not recognize God's plan because we have our own plan, and most of the time, it doesn't match God's.
I hope that if you don't have a personal relationship with Christ that this page will in some small way spark a desire in you to learn more about Him, and if you are still having doubts, I hope that you will pray and ask God to reveal the truth to you. If you are earnestly seeking Him, He will show you the truth.
All that God requires is a sincere heart that desires to know Him and to live for Him. "The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." Psalm 34:18 He is as close as your heart and mouth...He is only a prayer away! Click on the link below if you interested in finding out more about having a personal relationship with Christ.
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Heb. 11:6
I love writing
poetry, and below are two of my poems:
YOUR MAJESTY
THINGS
TO PONDER: It
is difficult to wait patiently for God to act when we want change right away,
but God promises that, if we submit to His timing, He will honor us, so never
give up waiting on Him. Although
we want to do God's will, we still make mistakes, but God is compassionate, and
He remembers our human condition.-
Life
is short, so choose a purpose that has lasting value: Live for God, who
alone makes life worthwhile, purposeful, and meaningful! Today you can
make your life significant and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with
as you will.
Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both
consciously and unconsciously.-
"We
stumble and fall constantly even when we are most enlightened. But when we
are in true spiritual darkness, we do not even know that we have
fallen."
If God
seems far away, search for Him!
FAVORITE QUOTES
Our hope in God
pulls us into the future. Hope allows us to affirm the reality of the
abundant life that is ours in Christ. Hope allows us to stand with those
in pain and to hold them until they are able to feel the love of God for
themselves again. Hope allows us to work to bring God's reign upon the
earth even when we see no results. Our hope begins and ends in God, the
source of all hope.-- Mary Lou Redding Faith is
something we grow into; doubt is something we grow out of, gradually, and the
movement is not always forward -- out of doubt into faith. It is a line that
wavers. As the picture a partially filled cup, we sometimes speculate:
is the
cup half full, or half empty? If we see faith as the contents of the cup, is it
half full of faith, or half full of doubt? And if we look at the cup -- our
experience -- and see one-half doubt, is doubt all we see? As God looks at the
half-full, half-empty cup, what does He see? The doubt? Or the faith? Or, if
faith is nearly a tiny seed -- say, a mustard seed -- can God see it? Is He
moved by it? Or is He too busy gazing at the ample doubt that may surround that
speck of faith? We know the answer: God sees such faith and is moved.-- James
Long The God who
made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not
live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he
needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything
else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the
whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where
they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out
for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we
live and move and have our being.'-- Acts 17:24-28 (Paul's speech)
I had fainted,
unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the
living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall
strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.--Psalm 27:13-14
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